“It all starts with self-love”

Read the header of the big project I’m working on.

** and when I say working on, I mean I’ve hired people to my bring my dream to reality. **

I didn’t catch it the first round of edits, but when I saw it the second time I knew it needed to be changed immediately.

Why?

Because, unpopular opinion, I don’t believe it all starts with self-love.

Our world is filled with coaches and influencers that tell us the answer to all of our problems is to simply love ourselves more, and that’s just not true.

Loving ourselves is a good thing, but crap you’ve been dealt, the unfortunate situations you’ve had to go through, the obstacles you’ve had to overcome were not due to an absence of, or lack of, self-love.

Pardon my French, but fuck that bull-ish.

Loving yourself more is not going to magically make all of your problems disappear or your dreams come true.

I’m not here to sell you a fairytale.

I’m not here to tell you that growing deeper in love with yourself will fix everything.

Self-love is great, it is important, but what matters more is showing up for yourself…

EVEN. IF. YOU. DON’T. LOVE. YOURSELF. IN. THE. MOMENT.

❣ working through all of the emotions

❣ working through the obstacles

❣ working on celebrating the small and big wins

❣ working on growth

That is what will make a difference.

And who knows, maybe the outcome of that is finding more self-love,

But when we tell someone they need to love themselves more to make a change, we keep them from progressing even 1% towards their goals.

Love yourself, yes, but don’t make it the only means to an end.

Check out more about what I have to say about self-love on episode 14 of my podcast Sex and Money with Jess.

Love always,

Jess