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THE LOWDOWN

In this deeply personal episode, I discuss how grief can profoundly affect both financial situations and sexual relationships. Sharing from personal experience, the episode covers the emotional and financial challenges faced after the passing of a loved one, and how the stress and sadness can lead to unexpected financial decisions and impact one's sex life.

It is important to take the time to process grief by seeking support. Everyone's journey will be different so give yourself grace as you move through your own grief and figure out how to navigate your money and your sex life during this period.

MENTIONED IN SHOW:

Website: www.lovealwaysjess.com/getstarted

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/love.always.jess

SHOW NOTES:

Episode begins at [00:00:54]

TRANSCRIPT:

[00:00:00] Hey there, I hope that your week is going well. Today's episode, we're [00:01:00] going to talk a little bit about grief and how it affects your sexual and financial life sometimes. Obviously if this is a heavy topic for you, something that you aren't able to sit through, please feel free to skip. I know that.

[00:01:18] Grieving takes different time for people, depending upon what they're grieving in life, where they're at in their grieving process. And this might not be an easy thing for you to sit through, but it is something I am currently going through in my life. And see how it financially impacts my finances, but also how it impacts my sex life.

[00:01:46] So yeah, if this is something that you feel like you need to skip, I won't take offense. I won't. Oh, so please feel free to wait for next week's episode to drop. [00:02:00] And we will get into that. More topics that don't surround grief. The reason I want to talk about this topic is because 1. I'm currently going through it.

[00:02:12] But 2. I don't think people generally understand how grief impacts our lives. I certainly didn't until I went through it. I had to some extent sympathy and empathy for friends and family who went through grief. But I didn't see firsthand how it affected their finances or how it affected their sex lives.

[00:02:41] And sometimes grief isn't just the death of a person. Sometimes it's grieving. A chapter in life, CLO closing or losing a friendship or maybe even a shift within [00:03:00] yourself, and there's a whole growing process that needs to happen to find your way back or to find your new identity.

[00:03:11] I may have mentioned before, or maybe you've seen my posts regarding this, but in December of 2022, my mom passed away after a seven year battle with breast cancer, and

[00:03:28] It hit me hard. Still a year and a half later, I'm still processing her passing. And I think obviously grief never goes away. It's gonna come and go. We're gonna be reminded of things and we're gonna have to process those emotions that come up when they come up. I,

[00:03:53] I think about The years leading up to her passing and in [00:04:00] a way there was some grieving happening during that time and that definitely impacted me, but I can't say that it impacted me as much as her actual passing did. And I have definitely seen, changes to my body, changes to my outlook on life.

[00:04:19] And I have seen changes in my financial portfolio, mindset, and also just in my sex life. Let's talk about finances first. So for somebody who's going through grief or going through the grieving process, This might impact their finances in a way where they might just all of a sudden start spending money and throwing caution to the wind when it comes to spending that money. I know after my mom passed away, I became obsessed with buying books. We talk in life about self care for [00:05:00] some people is window shopping or going online and just buying things because it makes them happy. And I think we saw a lot of that during COVID where we were stuck at home and we didn't have external things.

[00:05:16] to trigger that dopamine effect. And so we were constantly online buying things, and then a package would come to our door, and we'd be like, Yay! We got a package! And we'd be happy for all of two seconds, and then we'd repeat that action.

[00:05:34] After my mom passed away, that became me to a certain extent. Like I was like, I need to buy this book. I was on Amazon and I'm like, this book looks fun. Or I was on TikTok and I'd see a reel or a TikTok come up of a book and I'm like, Oh my God, I need that book. And somebody on Facebook would be like, I'm getting rid of 60 books on And I'm like, I [00:06:00] need to buy all 60 instead of just going through the list and picking five.

[00:06:04] And I'd walk into Target to buy something and I'd have to go to the book section and buy a book. And I just became fixated on a book is going to make me happy. And now I have piles of books all over my floor because I don't have enough bookshelf space because I overspent my money. And I can tell you, a couple of months after my mom passed, and I started to look at my finances, I was like, oh shit, like I way overspent on these books, and I didn't realize that I was spending this level of money.

[00:06:39] And thankfully for me, My work offers a wellness reimbursement, which is like a gym reimbursement or something that helps with your health and included in that list of reimbursements is books. And so I was able to submit all of my receipts and [00:07:00] get reimbursed for 720. And if I'm being honest, I had spent that plus more money on books, which is.

[00:07:09] Scary to admit. But that was my dopamine hit while I was grieving the passing and the loss of my mom. And even to this day, walking into a store that has books, like I walk into Barnes and Noble or I walk into Target or wherever and I see the book section, I'm like, I have to look. I have to get something.

[00:07:34] And it's not necessarily that I have to, it's just it's. That like horror happiness. bubble that comes up because it's what brought me joy when my mom passed away. The other thing that can impact financially through the grieving process is obviously funeral arrangements or celebrations of life, figuring out what to do with [00:08:00] the remains of your person that passed away.

[00:08:03] And do you cremate them? Do you bury them? What were their wishes? Because oftentimes, death is unexpected. My mom had been battling cancer for seven years, and even the timing of her death was unexpected. We knew it would come eventually but we thought we had a few more years with her. And unfortunately, the timing was the timing, and we couldn't change it.

[00:08:28] And That meant that money had to be spent towards her funeral arrangements. And because we, my family is originally from Minnesota, so my mom's entire family and friends lived in Minnesota, still do to this day. And when she passed away, not all of them could fly out here for her funeral. So that meant we had to have two celebrations of life.[00:09:00]

[00:09:00] One in California and one in Minnesota, which is. a financial hardship because you're putting up thousands of dollars for the passing of a loved one. And obviously when you're in the moment, you're sitting here and you're like, okay, I'm going to spend this money. We're going to get it done. Maybe you get a GoFundMe page.

[00:09:25] Maybe you put it on credit cards, maybe other friends and family pitch in. And then after the fact, you're left with the bills. And you might be sitting here saying, how are we going to pay for this? How are we going to come back from this? It can send you into a spiral because, especially if you put it on credit cards, or if you have to have multiple services, funerals are expensive.

[00:09:49] And while you're tackling These financial difficulties, emotionally you're just spent, you're drained, [00:10:00] and you're sitting here and you're thinking to yourself, how do I get out of this debt? How do I figure this out? When you can't even sometimes get out of bed each day. And so then you might ignore it, and you might prolong the figuring it out, which is completely understandable.

[00:10:21] Even to this day there are days where I'm like, I have no energy to do what I need to do. And I know that's grief. It may not be me sitting on the floor crying my eyes out, but that lack of energy of figuring out how to muster up the strength to do what it is that I need to do is hard.

[00:10:48] Because we sit here and we tell ourselves, you need to pay the bill, you need to get a second job, you need to talk to the credit card company, [00:11:00] you need to find a loan that has a low interest, you need to do the research, you need to You. Ask friends and family if they can help you or maybe If you're lucky the person that passed away Has a life insurance policy and so You have to find a way to get that money in and then How to handle it from a tax perspective But then also how to divvy it out to pay for the funeral or pay for the things That need cleaning up after their passing their credit card debt their loans all that kind of stuff houses cars There's so much from a financial perspective that we might have to put up with from a grieving side.

[00:11:47] And while you're grieving, you don't want to deal with it. And so you might ask a third party or somebody to come in and help you. But it's hard. And it's one of those things where you can find yourself [00:12:00] lost, but you can also find yourself being late on your payments. Maybe your family member or loved one or friend passes away on the 29th of a month, and rent and mortgage is due on the 1st, but all you can focus on is prepping the funeral or being there for their family or doing whatever it is that you need to do to be there.

[00:12:26] In your grieving process, but also in everybody else's. And so you forget to pay your rent, or you forget to pay your mortgage, or you forget to pay your credit card bills, or your energy bills, and your utilities, and you sit here, and then your water gets shut off, and you're like, Really? Like, all this added stress on top of everything that I'm going through?

[00:12:48] It's sad, and it's scary, and it's uncomfortable, but I also want you guys to know that it's normal. You just call company and you say, Hey, I'm sorry. I'm a month late. [00:13:00] I'm a couple of weeks late. My partner passed away, whatever, tell them. And most times they're probably willing to work with you.

[00:13:09] Other times they might be like, Hey, sorry, we're still going to penalize you, give you a fee, but some places might be nice enough to not charge you a fee. And I know calling them requires extra energy. So you get to weigh the pros and cons of, do I just pay the penalty, do I pay the interest, or do I call them?

[00:13:31] Sometimes it might just be easier for you to pay the interest. Another thing like financially from a grieving perspective is maybe you had been with your partner for 10 years and you had these dreams of buying a house and getting married and your relationship didn't end up working out long term and so you're grieving the process of buying a house and now you're like, okay, that was my dream, but I can't afford a [00:14:00] house on my own.

[00:14:01] So what are my next steps? And you're grieving the end of the relationship, but you're also trying to figure out how to move forward and how to make your dreams still happen. And that's not easy. We've all, for the most part, probably experienced heartbreak.

[00:14:16] And through that heartbreak, we know that it's not easy some days. There are days we might wake up and we are really craving being with our person and wanting to go back to them and wanting to be like, hey, let's make this work. Let's fix this. Let's chase our dreams together still. And then other days you wake up and you're like, fuck that person.

[00:14:39] It's a whole process. And when our dreams are tied to somebody else. And I'm not saying that in a bad way of your only dreams in life are tied to that person, but like, when you guys are talking about a future together, and you end it, that future is gone.

[00:14:57] The merging of your families, the [00:15:00] having children together, building a house, moving to a different state or a different country, travel plans, like, all of that just gets ripped out from underneath you, and you as a person still have dreams, and you're like, I still want to buy a house. I still want to have children.

[00:15:17] How do I make this work by myself? How do I make this work with another person? And like financially, like maybe you guys were close to buying that house. Maybe you were, I don't know, like two months away from buying it and you had been saving and you were like, I got 50 percent of the down payment.

[00:15:35] He's got the other 50 percent of the down payment. And. I'm so excited that we found the house that we want. We are there, our realtor, is getting the paperwork put together, and then all of a sudden, oof, things just end. And you're like that sucks. That house is no longer mine. Or maybe you've been living in a house together because you've been married and have [00:16:00] children, and now you're like, crap, now I have to navigate single parenting, find another place to live, and it's going to be hard.

[00:16:10] And You're going from dual income to a single income, but your responsibilities might still be the same and your bills might be higher than they were before you got married or before you merged your income. So you're not only grieving the relationship, but there's a lot of stuff that you need to figure out and it's hard and it's scary and it's uncomfortable, but I want you to know that like it is possible.

[00:16:38] I have watched single mothers. Make it work. Scrounge together every single last penny and make it work. And I'm sure it was hard. And I'm sure if they were asked if they thought they would make it, they would probably tell you no. But, they couldn't give up. [00:17:00] No matter how hard it was.

[00:17:02] I know for the past year and a half with my mom passing away,

[00:17:06] my family is figuring out what our future looks like. Before my mom passed, it was let's live close to each other. Let's make sure that where one person moves, the rest of us move. And, not that we don't want to see each other or hang out with each other, but now it's I've got a serious relationship, and I need to figure out what life is with him.

[00:17:31] And also what it is for me. It's both an individual and a partnership type of like situation of figuring things out. And then my siblings need to figure out what their future looks like career wise and, do they live in California still or do they move other places? And my dad's trying to navigate potentially back to Minnesota to be with friends and family.

[00:17:57] Because his friends are getting older [00:18:00] and they're starting to have their own health issues. And so it's it's a matter of What does life represent right now, and in the coming months, and in the coming year? If you would have asked us a year and a half ago, we would have known these questions were on the table, and we would have slowly started navigating them, and we did.

[00:18:21] But we wouldn't have had a complete picture and everybody keeps asking me because obviously I've talked about wanting to buy a house and everybody keeps asking me like, where are you going to move to? What are you thinking of doing? Have you started looking at houses? And like the answer to that is I don't know.

[00:18:39] And people are like what do you mean you don't know? And I'm like, I don't know. Because every single day, the story changes. And I think that's something key to think about when it comes to processing. What our finances look like while we're grieving. Or what life in general looks like while we're grieving is.

[00:18:59] It's not going to be cut [00:19:00] and dry. It's not going to be what was your story at the beginning of May is the same story at the end of May or You know the beginning of 2024 is the same story at the end of 2024 because life moves Different paces while you're grieving It's gonna move fast and slow all at the same time and you're gonna sit here and you're gonna be like Where the hell did the time would just go but also it doesn't feel like anything's changed While simultaneously everything has changed all at once.

[00:19:36] It's such a weird Feeling if you've ever experienced it And so you might be sitting here and you might be going through grief and you might be trying to figure out Where do I buy a house? Where do I relocate to? What does my income look like? What does my job look like? Hell, for some of us, we might be like, Fuck all of this shit.

[00:19:57] I'm quitting everything. [00:20:00] And moving to Temp Book 2. And starting life over. Because grief can do that to us. And then when you come down off of the high of grief, You might be like, What the fuck did I just do? Oh, crap, now I need to figure this whole entire thing out again, or I need to beg for my old job back or, there are so many different things that our brains, they like, hyper focus, but also zoom out very far, all at the same time that you're just sitting here and you're like, what do I want?

[00:20:32] What do I need? What does life look like now? And it's not an easy answer. It really isn't. And so you're sitting here, and you're looking at your finances, and you're like, okay, I'm gonna buy a house. Realistically, what can I afford? Where do I want to go? Where do I Live like if you break up with somebody and you're like we read it in the romance books Betsy broke up with [00:21:00] steve and moved to the east coast and bought a house and met George, I don't know where these random names are coming from it's like you uproot your whole entire life And for some people that's not possible.

[00:21:15] I know after my mom passed away My dad and I had to dive back into work because we had to Be able to like, sustain a living. I had an apartment to pay for. I had a job that needed me. And I had bills to pay, student loans to pay off, credit cards to pay off, all those books I was buying to pay for. And my dad had the mortgage to pay for and bills and my mom's celebration of life and he had to figure out life insurance and he had to figure out how to take her name off of all of the statements and the credit cards and banks and all that kind of stuff.

[00:21:56] He had to do some recalibrating. Whereas my [00:22:00] brother and my sister had it a little bit easier. They lived at home with my dad. And so they didn't have necessarily like the high stresses of bills to worry about. And then their jobs were more flexible. And so they were able to process grief in a different way than say my dad or I were able to do.

[00:22:19] And all of that makes a huge difference from a financial standpoint. Because You might have so much financial stuff to worry about that you don't 100 percent process all of the emotions surrounding the loss of somebody, whether or not that's from a death or a breakup or any other type of scenario.

[00:22:42] And that's going to affect your finances. It's also going to affect your grieving process. So at the end of the day, if you've gone through grief, know that you're not alone in the . financial worries and issues that may [00:23:00] arise. You might overspend. You might find something that you're just like obsessed with and you need to buy everything having to do with it.

[00:23:10] You may have to figure out how to pay for things that you previously weren't having to pay for. There's so much to it, and it's going to be hard, but it is also achievable. So I want you to know you're not alone, but I also want you to know that no matter where you're at in the process, you can figure things out, and you can course correct.

[00:23:35] And you can set yourself up on a better trajectory to move forward with.

[00:23:42] The other area of your life that grief can impact is your sex life.

[00:23:48] This one might be more hard, oh my gosh. This one might be more difficult for people to realize the impact. or [00:24:00] even they might realize that it's impacted their sex life a lot and it might be harder to come to terms with. I know for me grief has impacted my sex life in a different, in a couple different ways. Before my mom passed away there was a little bit of grieving happening internally and a lot of that manifested in not taking care of my house. Covid was hard. It was really hard for my family You know just because we didn't want my mom or my grandma or my dad to get sick With all three of them being immunocompromised.

[00:24:41] It was a huge risk and

[00:24:44] So I wasn't Working out like I needed to I needed some type of social interaction during the day because I lived alone. So I ate out a lot, ate fast food a lot, I gained weight, and I [00:25:00] just wasn't taking care of my health. And then of course, I'm highly stressed and I, my body broke out in a couple of rashes a couple of times during that time period.

[00:25:15] Probably from stress, but also from some external sources. And I've never had my body break out in rashes. So it was very, it was a very hard time on my body and I hurt my back. I threw it out. And obviously when my body was full of rashes, I couldn't have sex with my partner just in case the rash spread to him.

[00:25:37] Okay. Or my body was uncomfortable, I didn't feel sexy, I didn't feel cute, I didn't want to be touched, and so it definitely impacted my sex life. And then with my back pain, I obviously couldn't do things. that I wanted to, that I enjoyed. I shared before that on my partner and I's first date, [00:26:00] I couldn't cuddle with him.

[00:26:01] And he asked me if I was even attracted to him. And obviously I was attracted to him and I wanted to cuddle him, but I couldn't because my back hurt. And so even simple things like that, where it was like, I wanted intimacy and I wanted connection, but I couldn't have that with the pain in my body.

[00:26:20] And now, for the past year, I've been working out at Orange Theory, and my back pain is pretty much gone at this point. And this past weekend, I went on a trip with a par with my partner, a partner, he's my only partner I went on a trip with my partner, and I initiated sex, and I did a sex move that he's never seen me do, and it was nice to feel like my old self again in my body, because the past three years have really been crap on my [00:27:00] sex life, and it just the world just opened back up because I was like, wow, this is what sexual empowerment in my body looks like because I processed and I am continuing to process the grief and allowing it to leave my body and not hold on to it as much anymore.

[00:27:23] And I still see it affecting me. There's still areas of my body that I still hold onto the grief, but it is definitely. Something that is going to impact you more than likely. You're not going to be energized enough to have sex. Your body might freak out from the stress and from the grief.

[00:27:47] And, I remember when I broke out in the first rash. It was before my mom passed away. And it took a month and a half for it to clear up. And I'm pretty sure It [00:28:00] was something that I received from an external source, but because my body was under high stress. and grieving,

[00:28:08] it couldn't 100 percent fight the infection like it needed to. And so it needed assistance and it needed time to heal. And I have shared it multiple times on this podcast. I love having sex. And so for me to go a month and a half without having sex, without having the intimacy with my partner, especially with it being a new ish relationship, we had only been together Like six months at that time, it was a huge like blow to our relationship.

[00:28:39] And he was very understanding and patient with me through that time. But, even to this day, my wants and my needs for sex are different and I do miss parts of me that used to exist before this grief. And I am finding my way [00:29:00] back there. Like I said, had amazing mind blowing sex this weekend.

[00:29:03] I threw a whole new move in there that surprised my partner. But it's just one of those things where it's like, sex isn't going to necessarily look the same. during the grieving process. And it may never look the same again. Your body is going to change during the grieving process. You're going to stop taking care of yourself more than likely. And again, this isn't bad. This isn't abnormal. That's a normal process because we go internal and we have to process.

[00:29:33] like work through the different emotions and the different feelings. And so we might not muster up enough energy to go to the gym. We might not muster up enough energy to go to the grocery store and buy nutritious food or to cook it. And we can't, and I'm going to stress this so much. We can not beat ourselves up for it because it's a part of the process.

[00:29:58] And so you [00:30:00] may gain weight, you may lose weight, You may lose muscle mass. You might be one of those people who, when you're going through grief, like after a breakup or something, you just like full on go to the gym and are super disciplined and gain all this muscle and lose all this weight. And that can be.

[00:30:18] Unhealthy for your body depending upon how fast and how quickly you're doing it and whether or not you're eating Nutritiously, because you might be somebody who's just stops eating or you may be somebody who just eats whatever's put in front of them and

[00:30:33] That is going to impact your body and that is going to impact how you feel about your body And when you don't feel good about your body that impacts your sex life That impacts the connection with your partner. That impacts the connection with yourself. And again, not saying any of it's bad. It's all normal.

[00:30:53] We are not the first humans to go through this. Grief is a normal societal thing and our reactions to [00:31:00] grief are normal societal. I'm sure we have all seen some type of like weight loss or weight gain or workout regimen or something that is geared towards helping you process emotions when it comes to your health and I want to emphasize that you're more than likely not going to have the energy to have sex with your partner in the beginning stages of grief.

[00:31:30] Because all of your energy is being spent on getting through the minuscule day to day tasks. Waking up, showering, brushing your teeth, making sure you get some sort of food in your body. And then as time goes on, maybe your body has changed, or maybe your feelings have changed, and you need to find that reconnection with your partner.

[00:31:56] Because when you spend time apart and when you're mentally [00:32:00] exhausted, you might not feel close to your partner, you might not feel connected, and you might try to make things work and force things that shouldn't be forced. So if you are in this situation, please know that it's normal. And also please know that it's important to talk through what it is that you're feeling.

[00:32:26] My partner and I had a very heart to heart talk this weekend, and I didn't fully get to share everything that I wanted to share on the matter, but, I did, open up about certain things that I'm feeling about myself, about how I've changed over the past few years, and how there are parts of me that existed previous to COVID that I miss and that I want to find my way back to.

[00:32:58] And I know that finding my way [00:33:00] back isn't going to look the same, but it has created like a hardship in my life for myself and it's created in some way like a disconnect between my partner and I. And I fully recognize it and I fully take ownership for

[00:33:20] how it's impacting me. And our relationship, but I also realized that I need to reach across the aisle to him and ask him for patient and ask him for understanding and he's giving it to me, but also ask him for help, because we can't do things alone.

[00:33:42] Life is meant to do in relationship with other people. And so for struggling in our sex lives with our partners. As scary as it can be, we have to reach across the aisle and say, I need your help with this. I really am struggling with this, and I'm [00:34:00] sure it's affecting you too. How do we fix this? How do we move forward?

[00:34:04] How do we reconnect again? Or maybe you're grieving a relationship and you're Sitting here and you're like, okay, I want to date again. But what does that look like? I haven't had sex with somebody in five years or somebody new. I haven't, my body is not what it was when I was in my twenties.

[00:34:23] So how do I put myself out there and feel confident in my body again? How do I get naked with somebody new

[00:34:29] and processing the grief of losing that previous partnership and that previous sexual partner and the sex life you had with that partner may come up

[00:34:41] and you might be asking yourself like what does sex look like in this new partnership because I can guarantee you sex with every single partner in your life is going to be different. Because every single human has different desires, and our bodies are built [00:35:00] differently. So it's important to recognize that sex is going to look different from partner to partner.

[00:35:05] And that might be scary, and that might be opening up a lot of emotions for you, because you don't know what this partner is going to be like in bed. Or maybe you have had sex with a partner already and you didn't mesh well the way that you had with a previous partner and so you might be thinking all is lost.

[00:35:27] But really what it might just require is for the two of you to sit down and talk to each other about what it is that you're desiring. And that is opening yourself up to vulnerability. Which if you're going through a grieving process. And again, grief, There's no end point in grief, it comes and goes, but if you're going through grief, when it comes to that process, it might be hard for you to open up.

[00:35:55] It might be hard to be vulnerable, and so [00:36:00] we need to learn how to navigate that. And honestly, at the end of the day, it's taking it one step at a time. It's opening up to your partner and saying, Hey, I don't have the capacity to talk about this in full detail right now, but I want to make you aware of how I'm feeling.

[00:36:19] Could we find time to sit down and talk together? What are your thoughts on this? I need you to hold me in this space right now. I need you to just listen to me voice what it is that exactly that you need. Because sometimes just confessing how you're feeling is enough. And then you might feel a little bit better, a weight lifted off your shoulders, and you might be able to walk into the next conversation or the next sexual session and feel a little bit lighter and a little bit more free.

[00:36:52] As I'm making my way away from the death date of my mother, my grief is [00:37:00] becoming less and less, and I'm slowly becoming more of myself. And I'm slowly opening my body up to things, and I'm working out more, eating healthier, making sure that I'm moving every single day, and taking care of this one body that I have.

[00:37:20] And so I'm feeling more open to exploring new things with my partner or to ask for the things that I want or ask for the things that I need or surprising him with a different sex position that we've never done together. Because my back is feeling a hell of a lot better, and I'm like, you know what? I am doing this!

[00:37:42] he's got a movie on, and I'm reading a book, and I am going to switch things up and surprise him. I'm not even going to be like, hey, can you put the movie away? Nope. I'm doing this.

[00:37:57] I'm surprising him and blowing [00:38:00] his mind because that feels good in my body now because I'm Processing my grief and I'm processing how I need to Rejuvenate my body and find my way back to feeling good And my body is feeling good.

[00:38:18] Grief is certainly not an easy thing to go through for anybody and we can try to avoid it but 99 percent of the time You It's gonna slap us in the face if we try to avoid it. So I highly encourage that you just process. If something hits you, let it hit you. Pause. Take in the feeling. Allow the emotions to come through.

[00:38:43] And sometimes, you might not be in a situation where you can spend a lot of time on it. So you might just have to like, Breathe for 30 seconds release it and put it away and say I will process you later And then when you get home later that day you process [00:39:00] it, but please process it Because that's how we begin to find our way back or our way forward To the people that we want to be to the financial security that we want and to the sex life that we want

[00:39:15] Everything that you might be feeling, everything that you might be going through, both financially and sexually, through this grieving process, I guarantee you, has been felt, gone through by other people. So please don't be afraid to reach out to myself, or to a therapist, or another trusted confidant, because you're not alone.

[00:39:38] It might feel like it, but you're not. And just know there is freedom on the other side. It might take a little bit of time to get there. It might look different than what you expected it to look different, or look like, but you will get there, and trust me from my end, I believe in you. [00:40:00] I know what it's like to go through it.

[00:40:01] I'm going through it still to this day, a year and a half later. There is no timeline, but just know that it's normal,

[00:40:10] and know that I am holding you in my arms via a air hug while you're going through this. Because I know it's, I know it's a lot. I know it's heavy, but you can do it. So I'm sending you all the positive encouragement, sending you all the hugs and all the love. I love you, and I will talk to you next week.

[00:40:35] Bye. [00:41:00]