Does This Bite Me?

Today marks four months since my mom passed away and as I sat on the couch studying I wanted to walk up the stairs and talk to her.

Give her a hug and a kiss.

Then reality hit.

One of the things I’ve been doing a lot lately is finding ways to bring my mom’s thought process into my own.

Last week I took my partner shopping for his birthday. I knew he had his eyes on a Louis Vuitton belt, so I took him to the mall.

Before we went to Louis Vuitton he said he wanted to look at the Gucci belts because he wanted to expand his wardrobe. As we entered the store and began looking I personally felt meh about the selection, everything looked cheap but it was his gift, so I wasn’t going to interfere.

He asked my opinion on what he should get and I pointed out the two belts I did like, which happened to be on a display mannequin. Upon asking a sales representative about them he made no effort to let us know whether or not they were available for sale, so we told him we’d think about it and walked out of the store.

Walking into Louis Vuitton I could see why this was a brand my partner loved. Approaching the belt section I immediately fell in love with a few of the options, and as my partner and I got to discussing the different aspects of each I could tell we’d be making a purchase.

But we didn’t make the purchase I thought we’d make…

I shared my thoughts with my partner, “the green on this belt is subtle, but it’s gorgeous and would look great against a tan suit. The texture of this belt feels more worn and simple to me, and the gray is muted.”

At the same time I asked him questions, “what outfits would you wear this belt with? What color belts do you currently have and how does this differ from them?”

Once we discussed all the various aspects I stood back and told him to make a decision.

He kept saying he didn’t know what to choose and asking me what he should do, but I couldn’t decide for him, so I asked myself, “what would my mom do?”

It was simple, she would ask, “what is biting you?”

As I watched my partner contemplate this question I noticed something. He would look straight at the belts, but then ever so slightly he’d glance over at the shoes.

“You want the shoes don’t you?”

Instantly his face lit up and, his hands came together, and, like a kid in a candy store, he gleefully said, “yes!”

We began the process over again, this time he pointed out the shoes he wanted and tried them on. Both of us bouncing our opinions off one another.

“These are pricier than a belt, I can’t get these,” he would say.

I’d reply with, “I haven’t said yes or no to anything yet, just show me what bites you.”

This was something my mother enjoyed, watching us kids find the things that bit us. She would send us shopping, let us make our decisions, then she’d come to the store. We would try things on for her and she would give the final yes or no say on the purchase.

Once my partner was complete in his try-ons and debating what he wanted I told the sales person to order the shoes, completed my purchase, and I walked out of the store with my happy, giddy partner.

“Does this bite me?”

A question to ask your self in all life decisions, big and small.

Then watch as the choices you make lead you to a life of fulfillment you’ve never experienced before.